What does it mean to be resilient?
We all have seen posts online, looked through the book section in the bookstore, the library, googled for resiliency, asked our friends and colleagues for more information, watched webinars, or bought online programs for ourselves or our employees.
The word resiliency is now a buzz word; it is everywhere, at work, and home, online, by social media, in social circles.
And you can find courses online, on how to be resilient, which activities that help you be resilient, and the whole exercise to narrow it down to which one is what you need to do becomes exhausting by itself.
Resiliency programs or little tidbits are offered online on how to be more resilient, and you might have seen these?
And when you do sign up for a program, voila, you made it! Now you are part of the lucky ones with the tools and the means to be and stay resilient, congratulations!
For some, it works for them; for others, it won’t, as they may not have the skillset or mindset or the means to help themselves.
Over time, these ideal routines don’t seem to work as good anymore and may become a hindrance rather than a helping hand. And the search must be started again to find other things to do and be resilient because that is our goal.
We are feeling numb, burned out, or want to prevent a meltdown. And that process starts a vicious cycle of resiliency and burnout, which is very hard to escape.
Resiliency >> Burnout >> Resiliency >> etc.
On their own, the activities that promote resiliency are all good.
However, I would encourage the reader to think about the following thoughts.
You will eat, sleep, dream, and live that cycle until you eventually breakdown and become numb. It is exhausting! And that is not resiliency; on the contrary, it is a victim of circumstance.
What if told you that you have been looking into the wrong direction all along and that being resilient is not the end goal?
What do you mean, resiliency isn’t the target? Without resiliency we can not cope, we can not do anything!
You are right; however, resiliency is only half of what is needed to reach the target.
Remember earlier that we need to acknowledge and validate our feelings?
Resiliency is one of the two cornerstones of the real target, and before I reveal the real goal, I need to tell you about the other one, which is Acceptance.
What is Acceptance?
It acknowledges one’s situation, other’s points of view, see the bigger picture, accepts what cannot be changed and accept what needs to change.
Resiliency and Acceptance have a cooperative nature, as one cannot function independently without the other to reach the real goal, which is Empowerment.
To be empowered, you need to lower your defensive walls. To be vulnerable. To ask for help when you know that you can not do it on your own, To be empowered means that you love yourself, treat others like yourself, are hopeful, gracious, understand, and encourage those around you.
That is the real goal, to be, and feel empowered by knowing that resiliency and acceptance are part of the foundation that enables you to make a difference in your life and those around you.
That is the truth about resiliency; the power lies within you, me, and everyone else on this planet.
Resiliency and Acceptance: Cornerstones of EmpowermentAre you ready to change your mindset?
(Article by John Cazander August 20, 2020)